Feel free to post a entirely immature and easily forgotten =^_^=
epoch
- Wednesday, December 17, 2008 at 23:53:01 (PST)u retard, get off P2Pchat, u smell of tardism all the way, bro, why don't u just go fuk urself with a green pickle.
freshnuff
- Monday, December 08, 2008 at 06:32:32 (PST)i wish you had a website to post stuff on :>
epoch
- Wednesday, November 12, 2008 at 08:10:34 (PST)epoch is emal, again in reverse last word. oh yeh, dude, u suck, stop trying to be someone, ur cow's shi t, mate, dig me, or not, u'll stay a fat tar d, with no skillz at all, word.
freshnuff
- Tuesday, November 11, 2008 at 07:13:16 (PST)If you don't laugh until you cry, you have a problem. Excuse the language format but this is about a guy.
I don't eat much chili, especially w/lots of peppers, but this is a hilariously written story:
I went grocery shopping recently while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented 'You're definitely going to blank yourself' chili. Tasty stuff, albeit hot to the point of being painful, which comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat the next day both of your ASS cheeks WILL fall off.
Here's the thing. I had awakened that morning, and even after two cups of coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened. No 'Watson's Movement 2'. Despite habanera peppers swimming their way through my intestinal tract, I appeared to be unable to create the usual morning symphony referred to by my next door neighbors as thunder and lightning.
Knowing that a time of reckoning had to come, yet not sure of just then, I bravely set off for the market; a local Wal-Mart grocery store that I often haunt in search of tasty tidbits.
Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a cart and began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase. It wasn't until I was at the opposite end of the store from the restrooms that the pain hit
me.
Oh, don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm referring to that 'Uh oh, gotta go' pain that always seems to hit us at the wrong time. The thing is, this pain was different.
The habaneras in the chili from the night before were staging a revolt.
In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the small intestines, forcing their way into the large intestines, and before I could take one step in the direction of the restrooms which would bring sweet
relief, it happened. The peppers fired a warning shot.
There I stood, alone in the spice and baking aisle, suddenly enveloped in a noxious cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded. I was afraid to move for fear that more of this vile odor might escape me.
Slowly, oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my body, and I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as an elderly woman turned into it.
I don't know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what her reaction would be to the malodorous effluvium that refused to dissipate, as she walked into it unsuspecting. Have you ever been torn in two different directions emotionally? Here's what I mean, and I'm sure some of you at least will be able to relate.
I could've warned that poor woman but didn't. I simply watched as she walked into an invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odor so terrible that all she could do before gathering her senses and running, was to stand there blinking and waving her arms about her head as though trying to ward off angry bees. This, of course, made me feel terrible, but then made me laugh. Mistake.
Here's the thing. When you laugh, it's hard to keep things 'clamped down', if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw an explosive issue burst forth from my nether region. Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun.
Suddenly things were no longer funny. IT was coming, and I raced off through the store towards the restrooms, laying down a cloud the whole way, praying that I'd make it before the grand mal assplosion took place.
Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john, began the inevitable 'Oh my God', floating above the toilet seat because my ASS is burning SO BAD, purging. One poor fellow walked in while I was in the
middle of what is the true meaning of 'Shock and Awe'. He made a gagging sound, and disgustedly said, 'Sonofabitch!', then quickly left.
Once finished I left the restroom, reacquired my partially filled cart intending to carry on with my shopping when a store employee approached me and said, 'Sir, you might want to step outside for a few minutes. It appears some prankster set off a stink bomb in the store. The manager is going to run the vent fans on high for a minute or two which ought to take care of the problem.'
That of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape me. The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover his nose and, pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted, 'IT'S YOU!', then ran off returning moments later with the manager. I was unceremoniously escorted from the premises and asked none too kindly not to return.
Home again without having shopped, I realized that there was nothing to eat but leftover chili, so I consumed two more bowls. The next day I went to shop at Albertson's. I can't say anymore about that because we are in court over the whole matter. Bastards claim they're going to have to repaint the store.
epoch
- Saturday, October 25, 2008 at 01:03:31 (PDT)perl -e 'length q chdir lc and print chr ord qw q for q and print chr ord q dump and and print chr ord q lc eval and print chr ord qw q kill q and print chr ord qq q q and print chr ord q my m and print chr ord q xor x and print chr ord q dump and and print chr ord qq q q and print chr ord qw q fork q and print chr ord q or no and print chr ord q ref or and print chr ord q msgctl m and print chr ord q chop uc and print chr ord qw q no q and print chr ord q dump and and print chr ord qw q fork q and print chr ord qw q fcntl q'
this one is for you freshnuff, kthx genius :) epoch <epoch23@gmail.com>
- Tuesday, October 07, 2008 at 11:13:21 (PDT)pretty good, read this, in reverse, epoch skcus kcid.
freshnuff
- Sunday, October 05, 2008 at 09:44:08 (PDT)Many years ago today something grew
inside of your mother...
That thing was you
YOU
YOU YOU YOU YOU
Did she scream did she cry
Only those that are born are the ones that
Get to die
One more year closer to dying
Rotting organs ripping grinding
Biological discordance
Birthday equals self abhorrence
Years keep passing aging always
Mutate into vapid slugs
Doctor gives a new perscription
Bullet in a fucking gun
One more year closer to dying
Plastic surgeons fuel the lying
You forget why you came in here
Your mind rots with every New Year
RSVP PLEASE
For the DETH of thee
You have little time
And you're running out of life
Happy Birthday
You're gonna die
Now you're old and full of hatred
Take a pill to masturbatred
Children point to you and scream
Because they will become that thing
One more year of further suffering
There's no point of fucking bluffing
Open up your DETHDAY present
It's a box of fucking nothing
RSVP PLEASE
For the DETH of thee
You have little time
And you're running out of life
DIE DIE
DETHDAY
BIRTHDAY
DETHDAY
DIE DIE
DETHDAY
BIRTHDAY
DETHDAY
RSVP PLEASE
For the DETH of thee
You have little time
And you're running out of life
Happy Birthday
You're gonna die
ep0ch <epoch23@Gmail.com>
- Sunday, September 21, 2008 at 17:04:25 (PDT)Happy New Year . . . .
2007 Has sped by
Now, we need to face 2008
There may be risks involved
We may need to face roadblocks
So stay alert
Share time with friends
Jump over obstacles
With care
And caution
Face challenges
Remember to laugh
Cooperate
Discover
Make new friends
Above all...be ready for adventure
Stick together
And you will be able to go far
Very far....
Well, not quite that far....
Always take time to smell the flowers
Don't forget to relax and enjoy
And never forget to love those dearest to you
May God Bless You in 2008!
Happy New Year ! !
michelle <budannkadankgurl@hotmail.com>
- Monday, September 01, 2008 at 14:13:15 (PDT)ABC's of ex girlfriends
A
is for Arteries.
You know, the things that your ex-girlfriend ripped out because she really didn't care for you you twit she was only after your money and could have given a shit about you.
B
is for Bitter. Who, me?? No way. I really hope things between them do work out. I hope they get married and have 2 children that are little devils and her hips get huge and his eyebrows finally grow completely together and they get fat and old together and then DIE!!
C
is for Call ya later.She won't. She never has before.
D
is for Dumped. Does D need to be explained?
E
is for Eating like a pig. Remember when you took her out and she said "I'm not hungry" so you figured you could take her to a nice place because you were able to afford a nice meal at this fine restaurant. Then she ate more than your Uncle Roy (you remember Uncle Roy the one with the mustard stains on everything). So you flip the bill and are broke for the next two weeks and she wonders why you were unable to call her that week and go see movies.
F
is for Friends. That is what she just wants to be. As if you can even stand to look at her.
G
is for Gun. And yes there is a waiting period.
H
is for Horny. Remember when she looked nice and even had a personality? Well, you figure it out.
I
stands for I still hate her. Odds are I always will, unless she calls me and offers me favors.
J
stands for Jim. This is her new boyfriend. Doesn't Jim have a nice car ? Doesn't Jim have a good job? Why does Jim want to date her? I think Jim could do much better. I hate Jim. Jim is my mortal enemy.
K
stands for Kill.
L
is for Love. It's a great euphoric feeling that exists between two people and is shared upon by both parties.
L
is also for Lunatic. Lunatics are crazy. Lunatics are the last people that actually believe in love.
M
stands for Mephistophiles. That is who she worked for.
N
stands for Necropheliac. She didn't move very much, did she?
O
is for On top. When on top she has another O word.
P
is for Pill. She said she was on it. She lied. She is now sueing you for a few hundred bucks a month.
Q
is for Quitter. She couldn't last.
R
is for Rich little Bitch. She bought my love but I paid for it.
S
stands for Suffer. That's what she made me do.
T
is for torture. Torture is what she did. She tortured you with the truth. She also tortured you with lies.
U
is for Understatement. Saying you hate that bitch is an understatement.
V
is for Voluptuous. That is the primamry reason you were dating her in the first place.
W
stands for Whine. She was a pro at this.
X
is for Xylophone. Because X is always for xylophone.
Y
stands for You suck! Remember when she yelled that at you.
Z
stands for ZIPPER. This is what you got your hair stuck in while trying to get dressed too quickly while she yelled "QUICK! They're home!"
.
stands for period. Which is a couple of weeks late, because she lied to you about taking what P stands for. It also means you won't get any for a week.
ep0ch
- Monday, September 01, 2008 at 06:14:49 (PDT)subway fkn ownz ep0ch
- Monday, August 25, 2008 at 15:56:20 (PDT)sick page yo
nyte
- Wednesday, July 16, 2008 at 17:10:41 (PDT)llama!
m4z3
- Saturday, June 28, 2008 at 15:13:55 (PDT)i will be rich when i invent this new mattress i have in my brain, but i only need one thing....so if any women would like to donate their breasts to the cause plz e-mail me or leave a post on the shoutbox, thank you ep0ch <epoch23@gmail.com>
- Saturday, June 14, 2008 at 16:25:57 (EDT)If god exists, he programmed us all.
If he doesn't exist, well that's another can of worms.
But let's look at the can of worms.
You live as an ape, you die as an ape, you are finished.
So what to do until then?
Since the heightened version of Santa Clause will not audibly respond to you in a manner appropriate to which he created you?
Well, I guess you go to college then, watch TV, chase emotions in life, chase dreams, become a loser.
You fail at life.
Because you were never alive.
You are organized chemicals and dirt that has adjusted to it's surroundings over eons and eons of time.
How does that feel?
I am only after the truth in this life.
The truth...such a simple thing.
I say to you fellow ape: get money.
Then die.
Happy birthday.
Happy deathday.
All in-between is fake.
All is fake.
Nothing is real.
Death isn't worthy of fear.
Let the animate matter become inanimate matter.
Or let the animate matter play first, then let it become inanimate.
What a sick joke life is.
Hope you enjoyed reading this.
Get paid.
ep0ch
- Tuesday, June 10, 2008 at 00:24:56 (EDT)hehe :)
ep0ch
- Monday, June 09, 2008 at 14:28:20 (EDT)just to prove the site is working fine... AGAIN! lol..
woot woot vitaliy <vitaliy@prospeeds.net>
- Sunday, June 08, 2008 at 01:04:51 (EDT)wewt wewt. =p vitaliy <vitaliy@prospeeds.net>
- Sunday, June 08, 2008 at 01:00:36 (EDT)Turns out www.guru.com is a great site for making some cash if you know how to code. Freelance coders ftw.
ep0ch <epoch23@gmail.com>
- Sunday, June 08, 2008 at 00:31:36 (EDT)I've been writing alot of perl programs for www.prospeeds.net lately...So I decided to make them publicly available to anyone who can use them. They are all linux/bsd ready perl scripts that perform a variety of tasks... mostly administrators of hosting provider boxes will find these programs useful.
Here they are: www.ep0ch.net/code/
Enjoy =^_^=
ep0ch <epoch23@gmail.com>
- Monday, June 02, 2008 at 23:13:19 (EDT)Anyone reading this text, please note to stay away from irc.darkninja.org, this irc network is a hive of roachlike kiddies. They aren't really capable of anything respectable. But they have in fact compromised cisco routers and hosting providers using exploits they are entirely incapable of writing themselves. Their sociological techniques are childish at best. So I would advise anyone to stay away from this network, unless you want to be ICMP packeted off of the internet by some weak and untalented wannabe-hacker script kiddies.
ep0ch <epoch23@gmail.com>
- Sunday, June 01, 2008 at 09:32:29 (EDT)I hope I piss off some blackhat with it. Because he wont be able to do diddly shit. Thanks.
ep0ch
- Saturday, May 31, 2008 at 16:20:58 (EDT)I thought I was promoting it pretty good! It obviously landed your ass here. :) ep0ch <epoch23@gmail.com>
- Thursday, May 29, 2008 at 20:01:46 (EDT)I don't mind this site, but your methods of promotion suck. Perl spambots? Seriously asshole? I'm getting very sick of glining them, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. I'll laugh if you piss off some black hat with it... You have a good site here, but I think you'd get more effective (and returning) traffic if you found a better way to get it out there.
someone
- Wednesday, May 28, 2008 at 23:52:13 (EDT)nice little site you got here :)
AgentX
- Wednesday, May 28, 2008 at 18:08:27 (EDT)sdfsdfsdf
sdfsdf
- Tuesday, May 27, 2008 at 19:44:54 (EDT)sdfsdfsf
sdfsdfsd
- Tuesday, May 27, 2008 at 19:44:47 (EDT)sdfsdfsdfsdfsd
sdfsdf
- Tuesday, May 27, 2008 at 19:44:41 (EDT)sdfsdfsdf
sdfsd
- Tuesday, May 27, 2008 at 19:44:36 (EDT)sdfsdfsdfsdf
sdfd
- Tuesday, May 27, 2008 at 19:44:29 (EDT)FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY!!!!! ep0ch <epoch23@gmail.com>
- Tuesday, May 27, 2008 at 19:07:55 (EDT)Test post for new hosting.
ep0ch
- Sunday, May 18, 2008 at 22:25:15 (EDT)Made a legitimate $20 today debugging someone's webserver, woot. Too bad my gas tank drank it all. :(
ep0ch
- Monday, May 12, 2008 at 21:15:23 (Eastern Standard Time)I wrote a program that simply tells lies today, and added 3 new sections for the site which include TELEVISION MUSIC and MOVIES. Hooray!
=^_^= epoch
- Sunday, May 11, 2008 at 18:07:03 (Eastern Standard Time)Doing some cosmetic surgery on the website, someone hand me the scalpel? Please report errors to epoch23[at]gmail.com thank you. :) ep0ch <epoch23@gmail.com>
- Tuesday, May 06, 2008 at 10:44:18 (Eastern Standard Time)Point out to me the scene behind that it is ghost me remember piercing cries fear in its eye the night it died it on the left I empty cavity inside died in the world, I see only the black, there is blood on my hands died in the world, I see only the black, the blood of died Of feelings the interior deeply which I do not include/understand cannot fall deadened the night I test and awakes me in the contact of fear of its skin beside mine hot and wet deeply inside died in the world, I see only the black, there world, I see only the black, the blood of dead I rolled up my hands around his neck tightening out of his eyes of breath rolled behind in his head scratching with my skin which I know that maintaining it it not be my defect asked him She returned to me the night when I intend it piercing cries to wait in requiring serious Venu to me I hear that it makes an attempt yelling - in requiring serious, but it be buried waiting - in the tomb come at home that I hear it yelling waiting I rolled up my hands around his neck tightening out of his rolled eyes of breath in skin that I know that maintaining it it is not my defect required of him She returned to me the night when I intend it piercing cries to wait in requiring serious I remember piercing cries the night when it died on the left I its cavity empty inside died in the world, I see only the black, there is blood on my hands died in the world, I see only the black, the blood of deaths epoch
- Wednesday, April 30, 2008 at 20:57:22 (Eastern Standard Time)cool website man
matt
- Tuesday, April 29, 2008 at 00:19:52 (Eastern Standard Time)captain morgan hangover................... YAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH epoch
- Sunday, April 20, 2008 at 13:53:33 (Eastern Standard Time):) epoch <epoch23 [at] gmail.com>
- Sunday, April 13, 2008 at 00:59:36 (Eastern Standard Time)SHOUT BOX IS FOR SHOUTING! hi lulz
sirkit <admin@cybersmash.net>
- Sunday, April 13, 2008 at 00:45:06 (Eastern Standard Time)works lulz
squatdog
- Sunday, April 13, 2008 at 00:44:25 (Eastern Standard Time)Today I created an rss parser for cnn.com, it is the NEWS link at the top. epoch <epoch23 [at] gmail.com>
- Sunday, April 13, 2008 at 00:39:51 (Eastern Standard Time)Today I created a torrent site search engine which loads the result of a search query on the target website into an iframe using perl. Just click the 'TORRENTS' link at the top of the page to try it out :) epoch <epoch23 [at] gmail.com>
- Friday, April 11, 2008 at 19:40:16 (Eastern Standard Time)telnet gw.boston.ru
epoch
- Wednesday, April 09, 2008 at 07:58:21 (Eastern Standard Time)#!/bin/sh
echo "Content-type: text/plain"
echo ""
`echo -n "${1}" 2>&1`&
sleepkill $! /dev/null 2>&1 &
Smarg
- Tuesday, April 08, 2008 at 18:45:13 (Eastern Standard Time)#!/usr/bin/perl
use WWW::MySpaceBot;
my $myspace = new WWW::MySpaceBot;
$myspace->login (
email => 'YOUREMAIL',
password => 'YOURPASSWORD',
) or die "Login Failed!\n";
if ($myspace->isLoggedIn) { print "You Are Now Logged In!\n"; } else { die $!; }
if ($myspace->newMessages) { print "New Messages!\n"; } else { print "No New Messages!\n"; }
if ($myspace->newComments) { print "New Comments!\n"; } else { print "No New Comments!\n"; }
if ($myspace->newFriendRequests) { print "New Friend Requests!\n"; } else { print "No New Friend Requests!\n"; }
epoch <epoch23 [at] gmail.com>
- Tuesday, April 08, 2008 at 12:15:51 (Eastern Standard Time)http://www.internetisseriousbusiness.com/
epoch
- Wednesday, April 02, 2008 at 01:25:38 (Eastern Standard Time)I think I have it somewhere on CD maybe...I'll have to look...
Son just turned 5 today, aunt turned 40 today, I turn 26 tommorrow and I have a lot of work to do IRL.
When I get some time for the computer other than making a simple post, I'll host it.
And thanks h4x0r3d...Ive been tryin =] epoch <epoch23[at]gmail.com>
- Wednesday, March 26, 2008 at 21:35:03 (Eastern Standard Time)Hey what happened to Elite Script War? :( Some of the unfinished scripts that were on there were awesome.
Disappointed fan <object-oriented@programmer.net>
- Wednesday, March 26, 2008 at 19:19:29 (Eastern Standard Time)w00p w00p! This Place Is Lookin Better All Tha Time! Big Upz Mate! h4x0r3d <h4x0r3d[at]DarkNinja[dot]org>
- Friday, March 21, 2008 at 08:03:14 (Eastern Standard Time)I LOVE AOL
AOL_LOVER
- Saturday, March 15, 2008 at 20:29:32 (Eastern Standard Time)Testing theme switcher. epoch
- Saturday, March 15, 2008 at 05:20:43 (Eastern Standard Time)If anyone has any ideas (good ideas) for additions to my CGI PANEL section, please don't hesitate to post them here. =) epoch
- Saturday, March 15, 2008 at 04:19:36 (Eastern Standard Time):D
epoch
- Saturday, March 15, 2008 at 03:10:22 (Eastern Standard Time)First non epoch test post!!11!11!!!one!11!eleventy!!1!
NaF
- Saturday, March 15, 2008 at 00:14:49 (Eastern Standard Time)HOORAY IT WORKS! epoch
- Thursday, March 13, 2008 at 12:20:43 (Eastern Standard Time)test epoch
- Thursday, March 13, 2008 at 09:46:25 (Eastern Standard Time)